Saturday, January 31, 2009

Kissy-face on the subway


Few things enrage me more (slash make me feel more awkward) than kissy-face couples (KFCs) on the New York subway. Maybe I'm bitter because I just broke up with someone, or maybe I'm bitter because I don't have a person in the city with whom to be kissy-face on the train; I fully acknowledge these possibilities. But really, I think I just don't like it because it's fucking awkward and inappropriate.

On my way home tonight (went out with J in the LES, which, PS, I'm totally over) I got on the E train to take it over to 53rd/Lex to get on the 6 to come up to El Barrio. Whilst on the E, a couple boards. No big deal. Couples are fucking everywhere in the city, and while I'm pretty much over all of them, I can't blame them for being in love. But this couple is particularly offensive. Evidence follows.

1. The girl is wearing short shorts, nigh to hot pants, with no tights. No leggings. Nothing. Just bare legs and ridiciulous red patent Mary Jane flats. GIRL IT'S 20 DEGREES OUTSIDE PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON CRAY CRAY.
2. The guy, presumably her boyfriend, is obviously gay.
3. They proceed to talk about stupid shit, make kissy-face at each other, and full-blown make out on the train. This is particularly awkward because they are standing in the center of the car. It's not as bad when the KFCs are sitting in the seats on the sides or something, but when they are STANDING in the center of the car, everyone is forced to watch them awkwardly make out. Ugh. I lolzed at least three times. I couldn't help it! I felt so awkward I didn't know what else to do. It's like seeing someone fall down or trip over their own shoe or something.

Another couples trend I've noticed on the subway: they're all either madly in love and can't wait 20 minutes (or however long their commute is) t0 kiss each other, or they're in a terrible fight. On the way down to the LES, there was a couple talking about what they would have for dinner. They seriously talked about this for the whole time they were on the train (from 96th street to Bleecker) because she was either trying to lose weight, or had recently discovered a food allergy, or something else really annoying--I'm not sure. She couldn't eat this, or that, or this, because it has too many carbs in it, and she can't eat carbs. Her boyfriend looked like he was on the verge of choking himself with his iPhone earbud cord. Finally he said, "What about pizza?" Her response: "No! It has carbs! I can't have any carbs!" My response, internalized: "UGHHHHH KILL ME." Then: "Mmmmm I want some pizza." So I had some when I got off the train.

Then on the 6 on the way home, I saw another couple in a fight. A pretty blonde girl and a less attractive Latino guy. She was obviously upset about something and he was just looking at her expectantly, as if he were just waiting patiently for her to build a bridge and get over it. Their stop came and he got off before her, not turning back to see if she was following. Then she got off and I watched them walk down the platform in silence.

KILL ME. I want a boyfriend in the city eventually, but I don't want to be either of these couples. If I ever become a member of a KFC or a CFC (constantly fighting couple) just go ahead and deport me. Manhattan is too amazing for all you bitches.

Until next time.

Friday, January 30, 2009

The chair as a symbol

I jumped the gun on the chair. I got up this morning and measured my doorway and it's only 29 inches across; the chair is 32 inches at its narrowest point, so I can't even get it in my room. It's the little stuff like that, stuff that doesn't even really matter (there will be other chairs), that I find really getting me down. But it's about more than just the chair. It's hard to do things in the city.

I've been here a month now. I knew moving to the city would be hard. I knew it would be hard to get all my shit up here, find a place to live, find a job, get settled, and all that stuff. But I didn't realize, at least not fully, what an emotional strain it was going to be. Since I got up here, my emotions have been all over the place. It's a daily, sometimes hourly, thing; I never really know how I'm going to feel when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes I wake up feeling productive and like, despite being unemployed and alone in one of the biggest cities in the world, I might actually be able to accomplish what I want to do. Then by the afternoon, I might feel really depressed and lonely and like no matter what I do, I won't be able to get the job I want because the jobs simply aren't there.

And the city is just hard. It's a hard place. Not just physically, but figuratively. It's difficult to do anything, to get anything done. Last night on the way home from going to the gym and going to look at the chair, I took the bus, and we sat in traffic and got stopped at literally every single red light between 91st and 118th. Sometimes the city is just against you. It's hard to do things; at home, in the South, you can just get in a car and go anywhere you want at any time you want. Up here, you rely on others to transport you, which sometimes works out really well, and sometimes makes you want to cry because it's so frustrating.

Also, I have an interview tomorrow at the gym I told y'all I applied to. On the one hand, I'm like, "YAY! A job interview that might actually lead to something substantive and a little bit of income." Then on the other hand, I'm like, "Really? Four years of college and this is what I'm doing with my life? Hoping to get a menial desk job at a gym so I can pay the bills and afford a (discounted) gym membership? This is what it's come to?"

It's not that I'm ashamed. I have a lot of respect for people who work in service industries; I've done it before and it's one of the hardest jobs out there, at least in terms of stress levels. But I just know I can do so much more. I realize that a month is not a long time, and that in the longer scheme of things, it's essentially nothing. And I have accomplished some things since I got here--my internship at the Web site being one of them. I spent the morning applying to temp agencies and some more jobs on Craigslist. I'm trying, I really am, and I don't want to sound too whiney.

I just wonder when I will feel settled. I mean, really settled. I can't wait until that moment when I can sit down in my room--maybe in a chair?-- or sit down to dinner with friends and think to myself, "This is it. This is the moment. I have a job I love, wonderful friends, a home that I feel at home in, and I live in New York City. This is it." I feel like a leaf blowing around in the wind after a bad storm. I just want a nice place to land.

I know I can't rush these things, but I have to ask myself.
What if that moment never comes?

Until next time.

Chocolate cake, at long last, and a chair

A few days after I first arrived in the city, back when C was in town visiting, we went to dinner at a barbecue place in Brooklyn. After we finished, I remember walking around and saying, 'I really want some cake. Like seriously I want some cake, let's get some.'

Of course we didn't get some, which is fine, but my craving didn't go away. It hung on. It gnawed at me for weeks. It was a very specific craving. It had needs: chocolate cake, chocolate icing, lots of chocolate, extra chocolate plz. I had a birthday cake in DC that A got for me, which was quite good, but it wasn't exactly what I had been craving, so the beast remained, calculating the perfect time to nom. Tonight, that time came.


I made this cake with my bare hands. And a fork. Z and I decided to take the evening to finish season one of our Mad Men Marathon (M3), eat dinner, and make cake. If I have two weaknesses in life, it's chocolate/cake and beautiful men in beautiful suits. Check and check; done and done.

Don Draper plz to have babiez wif me

In other news, I got a chair today! Well, I went and looked at a chair and made a commitment to buy it. It's a big oversized arm chair, light green with red pillows (to match my room!). I'm paying $100 for the chair + the two pillows + the moving truck and two guys to move it into my apartment. I think it's a pretty good deal. Here's a pic:

Courtesy of Craigslist = terrible quality

It's almost four feet wide. That's a big chair. I'm going to put it in the corner of my room where my radiator is (in front of my window), and maybe some time in the future I'll add a little TV stand with a TV and a DVD player. It will be my own personal living room. I'm so excited. This chair is basically perfect for wrapping up in a blanket, sinking down, and watching DVDs or reading a book. More pics to come after it actually arrives.

Until next time.

PS. Avenue Q was lolllllz.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


It's been a productive four hours. I found a microwave for $20 on Craigslist and ventured downtown to take a look at it. On the way I stopped by the laundromat and dropped off my clothes. After seeing it, I decided to take the microwave, but because of the shitty shitty shitty weather today (read: rain/snow/grey sludge mix) I decided to wait to pick it up until tomorrow. Then I headed even further downtown to go to K-mart where I got: a full-length wall mirror (YES! at long last), some frames, two pretty pillows for mah bed, a wall clock, and some other small things. My room feels a little bit more complete. This makes me very happy.

Also: J got two free tickets to see Avenue Q tonight, but she has another show to go to, so Z and I are going together. I'm pretty much thrilled. I've been wanting to see this show for a long time, and now I get to go for free. UHMAZING.

Oh, and while I was in K-Mart, I saw these:


They're candles that smell like (obvs) various candies. The Almond Joy one even had little "candy bar chunks" on top. I was like mmmmmmmm, then I was like, oh wait, this is made of wax. I don't want something in my house that looks like delicious candy unless I can eat it.

So on my way out of the store I bought some Valentine's Day candy. Nom nom.

Until next time.

A sign of the times, my friends

I just spent 30 to 45 minutes filling out an online application for a job. To be a front desk associate. At a gym.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I am now resorting to shitty hourly jobs in hopes that I will soon be able to pay my own billz, instead of relying on my parents forever and ever. In truth, I picked the gym on purpose because I'm hoping to get a discounted membership out of it, at the very least. When I started my internship last Friday, I got a free week-long pass to the gym, so I went to yoga and abs yesterday, then Pilates earlier tonight. And I feel so much better. I mean, I always knew that physical fitness is a huge part of my happiness/mental competence level, but now that I'm in the city, I'm realizing it even more.

In other news, I'm really liking the internship. It's so different from working at a monthly magazine, where everything is pretty slow and quiet most of the time. Since this is a web site with a total of like four editorial staffers (including two interns) who post five stories per day, things are always bustling. Deadlines always need to be met, stories always need to be written, and blogs always need to be posted. That sentence was very poorly constructed, but you get the jist. It's fast-paced, and I love it. Plus I pitched a blog yesterday and the editors liked it and I created it today. So that made me feel good.

Still job searching though. In the meantime (hopefully if even they will hire me) I'll see you at the gym. Would you like a towel? Lolz.

Until next time.
Majorly yours.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Hello from NYC(home)

Hi faithful readers. I am coming to you tonight from the delicious comfort of my king-size bed in Manhattan/East Harlem. I started an unpaid internship at a .com yesterday; it was a very busy day! My supervisor kept me busy from 10 to 6:15--I posted content to the site, wrote a post, and put together a couple of blog entries. I am really excited to get some Web experience, even if it's unpaid. Some of you may know, but most of you don't, that one of my dream jobs is to work for Jezebel. It's a snarky feminist blog that comments on news, politics, and pop culture. Basically, loves it.

So the inauguration was insane. All in all, I am glad to say that I was there for such an historical event, but there's a reason it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity--because most people in their right minds would never do it more than once. As some of you may have heard (there are groups on Facebook too!), lots of people with purple, blue, and silver tickets were left out in the cold (literally) that day. The whole event was so poorly organized that some ticketholders could not find their way inside the gate.

A and I were among the purple ticket holders who were confused and angry; when we got off the metro to walk to the gate/entry point, we found that a bus was blocking the way in. A police officer told us that someone had been injured/gotten stuck under the bus (probs a lie), so they couldn't move it yet. Anyway, eventually the mass of people in which we were standing started moving forward, and we went along. When we got closer to the bus, however, it was clear we had two directions we could go, and neither was toward the gate. We asked some police officers which way to go, and each one gave us a different anwer. None of the cops had megaphones or bullhorns or any method of being loud at all. We eventually wound our way around to another purple gate, and by sheer force of will, found our way in. Now I know we were among the lucky few. Had we walked a different way, we probably would not have made our way in.

The event itself was great. At first we were standing behind a group of really tall people who also happened to be on an incline, so I literally could not see anything except the backs of their heads. I was so frustrated at this point that I almost started crying. I was cold, hungry (we didn't eat breakfast that morning), distraught, frustrated, and I couldn't see. So we moved back a little bit, away from the Capitol, and it was like opening a window or something. I could see everything, and it was officially amazing. His speech was great, I actually really liked Rick Warren's prayer, and the music was beautiful (though pre-recorded).

The whole (really long) weekend was kind of overshadowed, however, by some major drama that went down with A and me. I won't go into details here, because frankly it's nonnayobiz, but I will say that he and I are taking some time apart. I mean, we're always apart because of distance, but like apart-apart. I just got to a point where I felt more unhappy than happy, and that is never a good sign. So now I'm alone, living in New York City, unemployed, and feeling kind of low. I mean, my life is great; I have a warm bed, a place to call home, great friends, a supportive family. But everything is still not settled. My room still feels bare and empty. It's also kind of dirty from the girl who lived here before me, so I need to remedy that. I still don't have a microwave. It's hot in herr and my window is stuck shut. In all honesty, I'm terrified of being alone in this city. I know it's what's right for me right now, but it's still scary, you know?

Ah well, I need to go do some shopping for apt stuff.
Majorly yours.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Hello from DC

So tomorrow is the big day. A and I went to The Mall yesterday -- just in time to see the very end of Beyonce's performance in the big concert honoring Obama's inauguration -- to check out where we will be standing on Tuesday. We didn't have the seating/standing map with us and our iPhones were failing us, so we just kind of walked the length of The Mall, up to the reflecting pool, and around the side of the Capitol, taking notes of the cross streets for later reference. The reflecting pool is, like, really close to the Capitol, and my exact words to him were: "If we are standing in front of this pool, I will probably shit myself." To which he responded, "I'm not sure how I feel about that. Maybe we should stand farther back."

Anyway A sent me a text from work this morning (I am at home allegedly working on an edit test for a freelance position I applied for last week) that said: "We are on the Capitol side of the reflecting pool." I had a small heart attack. Here is a map, for your reference:

I had to crop the map down for blogging purposes, but you get the idea: the reflecting pool is right behind the west standing section, where we will be. Right in front of us is the seated center section, then a couple staircases, and then the Capitol. Holy shiiiiiiit.

Possibly the best birthday gift ever.

Majorly yours.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


It's cold. Since I moved up here, it's been pretty temperate. I mean, there have been a couple days where I was like OMFG it's srsly cold and snowing or something, but overall, it's been more than tolerable. Yesterday was so nice that my landlord decided to turn the heat off for the day. Today, I assume, he will not be.

That's right, it "feels like 4 degrees F" outside. I have my window open because my radiator (which is controlled from my landlord's office downstairs) is cray cray and really hot, so typically I need some fresh chilly NYC air because I can't stand to sleep while I'm hot. Well I woke up this morning, about 30 minutes ago, and was like brrrrrrrrrchhchchchrrrzzz it's cold in here. I'm too lazy to even close my window. I just put a sweatshirt on and am bundled under my covers. Fail.

On the job front: I heard back from the mag I did the edit test for. They decided to go with someone more experienced. Sad face. BUT I am staying positive, because I fully acknowledge that that job was pretty much my dream job, and that I probably will have to work up to it. To get it right out of the gate would have been too easy. I need to start smaller.

I have had several interviews since I got to NYC: one to be a style intern at a major women's mag (but it only pays $7/hr and it's a closet internship, not an edit one, boo), another to intern at a woman's mag web site (this one is unpaid but it's only a couple days a week, and I would pretty much get to set my schedule, while getting web and blog clips, which is good), an HR interview, and one later today for a part-time temp position writing newsletters for a large media company. The last one is more a PR position, but it would be a foot in the door, it pays really well, and I could spend my extra time applying and interviewing elsewhere.

Whew. I've basically been running around town interviewing and trying to become familiar with my neighborhood for the past few days. It's pretty tiring. In case you haven't seen, I uploaded photos of my apt to facebook, so check 'em out!

Other big plans: Going to DC this weekend to see A and to go to the inauguration. I can't believe I will be there to witness the most historical event probably in my lifetime (aside from Obama actually winning the election).

Majorly yours.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I can't believe I live in New York

I've been in New York for 10 days now. A week plus three. In those 10 days I have: visited the MOMA, gone to the Met, rode the Staten Island ferry (which is free, BTdubs), had an HR interview at a huge mag company, interviewed for a style internship at a huge mag, and gotten an apartment.

What? Oh yeah, I got an apartment. It happened really fast. I found this posting on Craigslist for a "huge room with two windows" in East Harlem, and I responded on a whim. Craigslist is so shady and you never know what to expect, so I tend to think of replying to any post as replying on a whim, but whatevz. The girl e-mailed me back the next day explaining that she was moving out and needed someone to move in her room ASAP, so I went uptown with Z and C to check it out. I walked in the room and immediately knew I wanted to live there. The room is, indeed, HUGE, and the girl is also selling me her king size bed for $150. Basically, uhmazing. And the rent is $790 plus utilities. I'll be living with two other girls (the living room space is converted to a bedroom), but for the price I can deal with that. The neighborhood is cute--despite what you may have heard about Harlem--and it's a brownstone walk-up.

Mah front door and one of the windows of my room.

I love the outside of the apt, I love the room, it has a really nice kitchen, and there's a pretty good-sized bathroom for NYC. And it's in Manhattan, so the commute is not too bad. Yeah, it's way uptown, but it's only three bus stops (about ten minutes) up from where Z lives, which will be super nice for going out and hanging out and stuff.

I've been walking around the city a lot, and sometimes I look up and feel the cold wind on my face and see the glow of the city reflecting off the sky at night and I really can't believe I live here. I don't understand when people say they don't like New York, or even when people don't choose the place they start their lives based on how that place affects them. I can't imagine starting my life somewhere I don't absolutely love, or anywhere but New York actually. Everything cheesy New York lovers say about the city is absolutely true for me. It makes my heart beat faster and sometimes I feel like crying because it makes me so happy to be here. I first came to the city when I was 18, and as soon as I stepped off the bus I knew I was meant to be here. And here I am, starting my life and making and watching my dreams come true. How many people can say they have done the same? I really am just so thankful that I have people in my life who love me enough to help me and support me in this.

I love life.
Majorly yours.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Iz here

That's my life. In that photo, you can see everything I brought up with me to NYC, minus of course my computer, tote, computer bag, the clothes I'm wearing (or am I? lolz), etc., sitting in the corner of Z's living room. It's been busy busy the past couple days, with me spending time with C and Z since we haven't seen each other for a collective like 9 months. Tomorrow C and I are going to watch the Cotton Bowl at this bar on 34th street, and I'm preeeeetty excited about. Football + Manhattan + cheap drank = luv.

Not to seem too flippant, because secretly on the inside I'm freaking out. I don't have a place of my own to live, and I don't have a job. But, ya know, I'm still waiting to hear back from that interview I had before Xmas, and if that doesn't work out, at least now I'm in the city and will be able to apply and interview for things in person. I'm trying to stay optimistic and be more excited than I am unsure or scared, but it's just scary right now. I'm coming up on my fourth day in the city and I'm already like ZOMG I want an apartment, a bed, and a job plz. I know I just have to be patient. I'm so glad to be here with C and Z, and I have hope for the future.

In conclusion, if you know anyone who lives here and is looking for a roomie, holla atcha guh.

Majorly yours.