forgive me rainer, i quite like this one

i have always

I have always
lived my life on the edge
of this huge precipice that I can't see,
waiting
and hoping desperately
to topple in.
I fall in love
with people
and experiences
as easy and natural as
syrup pours lucid over
a stack
of pancakes.

I know nothing about you, but somehow I will never forget you.
I know your name.
I know where you're from.
I know that you have two siblings,
but I could never pluck them from a lineup.
I know your favorite television shows.
I know your favorite author.
I know your telephone number,
ten digits mocking me from the high seas,
dipping below the white wave crests, into the blackness and emerging again,
drenched and cold and probably broken.

But,
more importantly,
I know the way you felt under my hands,
how blue your eyes glowed against the frame of your smile,
and the sound of your hmmmmm when you saw me
sweetly shudder across your fingertips;
then the way your lips felt as they
almost
didn't
touch mine,
and your short hair as I grazed it with my starved hands -
like mindless cattle in a field who don't know any better
than to just keep
eating
eating
eating.

People are so strong.
People are so strong,
I have never grasped it,
how people's hearts pump stubbornly through so much sickness and isolation and undoing.
But you brought me a step closer to understanding,
just a small little baby step,
another reason
to keep on
beating
beating
beating
against the current.