New York Meglist > Partners > Perfect Man Wanted

I've been thinking a lot about what I want in a manpartner recently. And by a lot I mean I spend probably like 15% of my brain power thinking about it, which is still too much. As a result, I have come up with a list of the qualities I want* in a romantic interest/relationship partner. The list follows. I have dubbed it Megslist. I know, so painfully obvious.

• Be at least 5'10". I mean this is an absolute minimum. There are too many fucking shorties in this city and I'm over it.
  
• A college degree is definitely required.
• Be extroverted, but not too extroverted. I'm kind of over dating the shy type, and I want someone who is going to entertain me for once.
• Be funny. Like fucking slap your mama hilarious.
• For the love of god, don't be pretentious. There are few things I hate more than pretense. Well, aside from when Kant tries to write in iambic pentameter. Yaaaaaawn.
• On that note, hipsters need not apply.
  
• For Christ's sake, I need a man who knows how to handle a strong woman. Let me be dramatic, then tell me when I'm being a huge bitch. Don't be jealous; let me be independent. If I tell you I'm attracted to someone else - maybe even (GASP) a woman - grow a pair and fucking deal with it. Then give me a reason not to care about my attraction to other people, if you know what I'm sayin'.
  
• On that same note, know how to put it down. Put. It. Down. The importance of this cannot be overstated.
  
• Be kind. Don't treat me like a child, but doing sweet things every so often will certainly be appreciated.
• Be honest. Don't lie to me, and don't hide things from me.
• Be ridiculously smart and interested in art and culture. Take me to museums and shows and stuff because you really want to go and not just because you know I want to.
• Have some sort of creative pursuit.
  
• Be a good writer.
• Delicately straddle that line between asshole and sweetheart: Be cocky, but don't be a douche. Be sweet, but don't be a pussy. It's true - no matter what girls say, they do want a guy who is sort of an asshole. Not one with a totally black heart, but a dark streak is a plus.
  
• Eat meat and cheese and stuff. Vegan schmegan. Ha that looks sort of like my name.
• Try to dance. Even if you can't, your attempts/humor about it will take you very, very far.
• Know how to dress and have a sense of style.
  
• Tattoos are welcomed.
• However, those with tribal tattoos need not apply.
• Must like cats and dogs and babies and children. Not because I have any of these things right now, but because - one day - I do want them.
  

Compensation is extremely generous. Namely, you get to spend time with me. Interested parties should contact me at 555-1234. Yeah, I have the same number as all those people in the movies! So awesome, right?

Also, you will notice that there is no mention of "good-looking" or even "ridiculously good-looking" on this list. I mean, I'm not shallow.


*hope for, in an imaginary world where perfect men exist

My life was a movie

For a moment, at least. Normally y'all know how I feel about relationship blogging: I do it, but I keep it to a minimum, because no one gives a shit about my personal wees and woes, LBO. But I have talked about it before, just because it certainly is a part of my life, and sometimes I feel really affected (effected?), and that leaving it out would be leaving out a part of myself . This is def one of those times.

As I told you, A and I decided to take some time apart (OK, we broke up) after I went to DC for the inauguration. A lot of shit went down (again, nonnayobiz) and it was dramatic and exhausting and I was pretty much over it. We didn't talk for a week or so, then I started to feel really angry toward him for the hurt he had caused, and I decided I wanted to tell him about it, for the sake of getting it off my chest and making sure he understood just what he had done wrong and just how badly I was hurt. So we talked on the phone Sunday night, and I told him everything. One of the things I told him was that when I left DC, his behavior showed me he didn't care enough to fight for me: he pretty much put me in a cab and sent me off, and he barely spoke to me that morning, and he wouldn't touch me. He knew he was losing me, and instead of fighting, he just sent me away. That's when something clicked in my head and I was ready to say goodbye to him.

Anywayz I told him all of this and more of the reasons he hurt me, and he said, "If I knew it meant you would give me another chance, I would pack some stuff into a bag and start walking to New York right now." I was like OMGZ, first of all, that's the most dramatic thing I've ever heard, and, second of all, it's bullshit because it's really easy to say something like that when you know I would never ask you to do it. Ever the skeptic, I denied in my brain that he would ever do something like that. So we left that phone conversation right where we had started.

The next day at work I started thinking about things and getting pissed off again, because how dare he say something like that to me when he had no intention of carrying it out? So I IMed him (never a good idea, PS), and confronted him about it. His response was to e-mail me a confirmation for a bus ticket that he had bought earlier that morning to come to NYC Tuesday night. He had bought a ticket without telling me, and was going to show up at my house without telling me; part of me resented the intrusion, but more of me was overwhelmed by the sweetness of the gesture.

I came home from work/happy hour Tuesday night and he was waiting for me on my steps. Of course he was sort of awkward and acting unsure of himself, because he's just sort of that way all the time, and some of my friends still disapprove of my letting him come see me, but I've always wished in my heart that someone would care enough about me to do something like that, and now he's done it.

The human heart is amazing and ridiculous and stupid.

Until next time.