I've been thinking a lot about what I want in a manpartner recently. And by a lot I mean I spend probably like 15% of my brain power thinking about it, which is still too much. As a result, I have come up with a list of the qualities I want* in a romantic interest/relationship partner. The list follows. I have dubbed it Megslist. I know, so painfully obvious.
- Be at least 5'10". I mean this is an absolute minimum. There are too many fucking shorties in this city and I'm over it.
- A college degree is definitely required.
- Be extroverted, but not too extroverted. I'm kind of over dating the shy type, and I want someone who is going to entertain me for once.
- Be funny. Like fucking slap your mama hilarious.
- For the love of god, don't be pretentious. There are few things I hate more than pretense. Well, aside from when Kant tries to write in iambic pentameter. Yaaaaaawn.
- On that note, hipsters need not apply.
- For Christ's sake, I need a man who knows how to handle a strong woman. Let me be dramatic, then tell me when I'm being a huge bitch. Don't be jealous; let me be independent. If I tell you I'm attracted to someone else - maybe even (GASP) a woman - grow a pair and fucking deal with it. Then give me a reason not to care about my attraction to other people, if you know what I'm sayin'.
- On that same note, know how to put it down. Put. It. Down. The importance of this cannot be overstated.
- Be kind. Don't treat me like a child, but doing sweet things every so often will certainly be appreciated.
- Be honest. Don't lie to me, and don't hide things from me.
- Be ridiculously smart and interested in art and culture. Take me to museums and shows and stuff because you really want to go and not just because you know I want to.
- Have some sort of creative pursuit.
- Be a good writer.
- Delicately straddle that line between asshole and sweetheart: Be cocky, but don't be a douche. Be sweet, but don't be a pussy. It's true - no matter what girls say, they do want a guy who is sort of an asshole. Not one with a totally black heart, but a dark streak is a plus.
- Eat meat and cheese and stuff. Vegan schmegan. Ha that looks sort of like my name.
- Try to dance. Even if you can't, your attempts/humor about it will take you very, very far.
- Know how to dress and have a sense of style.
- Tattoos are welcomed.
- However, those with tribal tattoos need not apply.
- Must like cats and dogs and babies and children. Not because I have any of these things right now, but because - one day - I do want them.
Also, you will notice that there is no mention of "good-looking" or even "ridiculously good-looking" on this list. I mean, I'm not shallow.
*hope for, in an imaginary world where perfect men exist