Coversations with Schmom B.: Schpop B. Edition

The following is the rough outline of an actual conversation that took place between Schmom B. and myself. I call her everyday, usually in the evenings; sometimes I talk to Schpop B. as well, but he's often traveling because he's in the military. This last part played a key role in the conversation I had with her a couple days ago, detailed below, while my dad was in Washington, DC.

Me: Hey Moooom.
Schmom B.: Hi, sweetie. How's it goin?
Me: Ohh, you know, it's fine. I'm tired. Getting ready to move, etc.
SB: Very exciting!
Me: Have you heard from dad? I haven't talked to him in a couple days. How's he doing in DC?
SB: (laughing) He's fine. He's been texting me all evening. He's at the vice president's house for a cocktail thing and he's bored.
Me: Oh. Hmmm... the vice president's house?
SB: Yeah.
Me: Like... as in the vice president of the United States? Joe Biden?
SB: Yeah.
M: And he's bored?
SB: Yeah, he texted me a few times. He said he's pretty over it.
M: So he's at the vice president's house, and he told you - via text message - that he's "over it"?
SB: Yeah, he said it's been going on for like five hours and all they have is wine and water and he really wants a beer. I know he's bored because he never really texts me during the day like that.
M: So, just to recap, he's hanging out with the vice president of the United States, he's bored slash over it, and all he really wants is a beer?
SB: (laughing)
M: Yes?
SB: Yep.

The Schfolks rock, no?

Edit: I spoke with Schpop B. the day after the above conversation took place, and he clarified that the event was not in fact "boring," but more of "a pain in the ass."

Schmom B. Says

It's that time again, dear readers. Friday! Yay! I'm so happy about it I could shit myself, but that would markedly decrease my happiness, so I will refrain.

Anyway, the arrival of Friday can mean only one thing: the next installment of Schmom B. Says! Today, she reminds us all that honesty truly is the best policy.



Schmom B. Says: It's Aiiiiiiight

Meghan: Here is the guest blog post I wrote! I'm so excited!
Schmom B.: Sweetie, I liked your "quiet party" blog. There was a kind of "unhappy"undertone in your writing though. You have written things a lot funnier. You are such a good writer. Love ya.
Meghan: I've written things a lot funnier?? Ouch!
Schmom B.: True, though. Don't you agree?
Meghan: Yes, but I was writing for a different audience.
Schmom B.: K, don't really know what you mean. Funny is funny. I just didn't giggle as much. I still love the way you write.
Meghan: Haha k. Thanks.




You heard it here first, kids: funny is funny. I mean, I guess it's good that she thinks I'm funny? Sometimes? Sigh.