Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Meglist: The Experiment*

As you may recall, back in October I wrote a Megslist ad for my perfect manpartner, as I envisioned him in a (sigh, non-existent) perfect world. Recently the idea struck me to post that ad in the actual New York Craigslist personals, just to see what sorts of responses I would get. I culled through the 20+ e-mails I received in the few hours my ad was live before it was, tragically and inexplicably, flagged for removal - maybe someone was offended by my hyperbolic use of the word "perfect," or perhaps someone just didn't appreciate the photo I attached of myself - and picked the cream of the crop. Here they are, in all their g(l)ory.

Some of them were astoundingly lazy and noncommittal, for someone taking time out of his busy day to respond to a Craigslist ad from a stranger.

I wish I had the time to give a post like yours a decent response...
...unfortunately, Im recording at the studio now and just wasting some time between sessions... you sound like the type of chick I wouldn't hate (ha)

Some of them were very, um, forward. One person wrote this in response to my demand for a man who knows how to deal with a strong woman.


Repsonse: Oh so perfect

I guess you are asking me to put it in your hiney? Will do.

Some of them preferred the sneak attack method of propositioning me.

Re: Great Post

Great post -- yes, 15% of one's brain power on any subject is too much. I'm fairly sure that I won't meet all of the qualities you seek -- but, possibly enough.

160 lbs
48 yr old
white male
lean, muscular body
better bod than most 20 yr olds
shiny salt & pepper hair
been called handsome
well read
well educated
sense of humor
strong, strong sex drive
dominant in bedroom
love to please
discreet, you be too

Some of them had a sense of humor, though, sadly, no understanding of the English language.

Perfect man wanted - 23 (East Harlem)

you live in perfect plays hahahahaha East Harlem

And lastly, one guy expressed his sincere - albeit very wordy and somewhat obtuse - desire to be my sugar daddy.

You appear to be a woman suited for Pluto. I’m not sure if I’m referring to the planet or the Disney character. There is no such thing as the “perfect man” and quite possible you’re referring to what’s perfect for you. Prozac might be a first choice because you seem to need no stimulants and you are a hand full and I don’t even know you yet. On the other side of the ledger, you appear quite funny and simulating without even trying.

I’m an Alfa male who’s smart, successful and even quite good looking but I’m not sure I could handle someone with all you’re pent up energy and wild imagination. Your like an untamed colt and it would be great fun to feed off your energy and help you to experience and delight in all the things your not familiar with. I haven’t offered my genie like self in a long time to someone as playful and acidic as you seem to be. I love mentoring someone like yourself because you’re probably hard to handle at first, then the first kiss makes you all starry eyed and you’d fluster with delight. How refreshing you are not to be spoiled by society and the restrictive mores and taboos they impose upon us.

I too am a free spirit who can do and say almost anything I want because of past success and some intellect. I need a challenge and think you not only would be one but more fun then a barrel of monkeys (even though monkeys smell and I don’t know what makes them fun in a barrel) LOL If your interested in someone beyond the norm who is smart, kind and highly unusual (in a good way) , write back and I promise to make you smile (and even laugh a lot) as long as your not too serious and promise not to fall in love with a stranger who may be beyond your expectation and desires.

PS Can you drive a six speed and do you like to kiss (beyond almost anything else? LOL

Well, sir, yes to the kissing, no to the six speed. I realize that might be a dealbreaker. Luckily this colt doesn't need a car to transport herself, if you know what I mean.

*I apologize for the poor formatting of this post. No matter what I did Blogger would not resize my fonts appropriately. Blogfail.


  1. This is the most hilarious thing ever!!!

  2. "been called handsome": fail

    Refers to "body" as "bod": fail

    Uses the word "mentoring": fail

    Repeated misuse of "you're" v. "your": fail

    I think the hiney dude takes the win.

  3. I'm thinking you need to change your twitter bio to "Untamed Colt" or perhaps "Barrel of Monkey-ish."

    this was highly entertaining. thx.