Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Breakthrough (Swear to God, last break-up post for a while)

I have spent my afternoon reading my new favorite blog, The Sassy Curmudgeon, and listening to Madonna's Like A Prayer on repeat.

Things you can take away from this: it's a slow afternoon at work, yes, but more importantly, I have had a breakthrough. I have let Andrew go.

I did this via a combination of learning from older mentors (aforementioned blog not excluded), the force of my own sheer will, and clever new break-up tactics such as writing a draft e-mail titled "(More than) 10 things I hate about you." The place in my heart I had reserved for missing him, longing for the past, hoping for things to work out between us - I took that place, emptied it out, and filled it with myself. And when I did, I found myself again. Just like that, I found the Meghan I lost when I entered into our relationship over a year ago. I saw my future, blurry still, but bright: me, laughing, writing, living my life in New York, my best friends, and the future (still mystery) man I will fall in love with completely and insanely, who will love every single crazy beautiful fucked-up part of me, who would rather die than live without me. I have no doubt that he exists, somewhere, and when I meet him I will probs just know it. Maybe not at first, because I am far too analytical for that bullshit, but, you know, eventually.

Until then, as of right now, I can honestly say: I live in my dream city, work my age-23 dream job, I have the best friends in the world, and I love my (newly rediscovered) self. This is not me trying to reassure myself that my life is good *enough without a boyfriend; this is me just simply stating that my life is amazing, period. And I'm so thankful.

Also, I challenge you to listen to "Like A Prayer" without bouncing around like someone who forgot she is in public. It is impossible.

PS, On a not-entirely-unrelated note, Britney was epic last night.

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