One of my favorite things about being home in the South is spending time with Queenie, my family's kitty cat. I usually refer to her as Tha Queen B, and I spend most of my time at home trying to get her to love me. The following is typical Queen B/Meghan behavior, concluding with her reaching the crest on her bell curve of annoyance with me.
1. I try to get Tha Queen B to pose for the camera. She is squirmy in resistance.
2. Success, bitch!
3. She slinks away and shuns me for the great humiliation I have caused her.
4. I am sad and filled with remorse.
5. I prepare a sneak attack to gain her affections back.
6. She is alerted to my presence, despite my amazing fish disguise. (???)
7. Maximum annoyance achieved.
Editor's note: Upon further review, I think this post probably makes me look like a crazy fucking cat lady. And I'm OK with it.
ARCHITECTURE: 164 WEST 136TH STREET
18 hours ago