Monday, March 8, 2010

The bag that broke the lady's back

I just looked in my purse and the utter ridiculousness of what I saw there inspired me to dedicate an entire post to it. Currently, right now, right this moment, as we speak, my purse contains the following items (and this list is not inclusive): a wallet that will not close because it's too full, an umbrella, Vaseline (don't judge), a glasses case, antibiotics, the current issues of both New York and the New Yorker, pepper spray, a digital camera, blogger business cards, ear muffs, gloves, and, naturally, a framed copy of a letter Robert Mapplethorpe wrote to Patti Smith in 1969, which is obviously going on the wall in my new apartment.


None of this, of course, includes girly stuff like lipstick, chapstick, lotion and tampons, all of which are, yes, also in my purse. I'm not even kidding, this shit weighs like 15 pounds. What's in your purse right now? Murses can also submit. I don't discriminate by gender.

In other mundane news, I chopped off all my hair this weekend.

I figure the weight in my purse sort of counterbalances the new lack of weight on the top of my head, or something.

And now I have this image in my mind of a woman walking around New York with a bag full of her  own hair, and I am freaked out. Happy Monday.

Oh, and here's the text of the letter, dated September 1, 1969, written from the Hotel Chelsea:

Soakie* -

Sitting in our room – waiting for you – Thinking of all that we have gone through – knowing we have somehow done it together.

And it will always be that way- Loving you-

We’ll have a real home soon one way or another – and it’s then that we’ll be famous – with or without the rest of the world –

Just you & me together – 
Drawing, writing and loving each other –

Love you always,


*He called her this because apparently she cried a lot, and very easily. Appropriate, since I cried buckets the first time I read this.


  1. So cute! And at least you don't have a forgotten yogurt in your purse that may or may not be weeks old. Not that I know anyone this has happened to...

  2. I dig the 'do!

    And a quick inventory of my purse finds:

    numerous bracelets discarded during the course of many days

    a cell phone charger to a phone I no longer have

    allergy eyedrops i've never used

    a big smorgasbord of things (change, lipstick, wal-mart receipts, unwrapped gum and jolly ranchers) smashed into the bottom of the bag, which I REALLY don't want to stick my hand into...

  3. I just opened my purse... and I'm going to have to steal your idea and dedicate a post because most of it requires explanation. But don't worry. I'll link back to you so all six of my followers will know it was not an original idea.

    I also have Vaseline in my purse because it is the best thing in the world for dry lips. And baby-butt Vaseline is better than Vaseline lip care. I swear this.

  4. Good job w/the hair... I have less but it seems to still weigh due to size...
    1. huge ass wallet that holds ccards, checkbook, money
    2.planner ( small)
    3.cell phone camera

  5. Love the haircut!

    The contents of my purse is pretty boring. Just my iPod, camera, phone, wallet, keys, and movie ticket stubs.

    I have this weird daydream where I'm abducted by aliens and they get a glimpse of Earth technology from the items in my purse.
    Weird, I know.


  6. The hair looks fantastic!!!

    I have a toothbrush in my purse. Still wrapped like it was when the dentist gave it to me 6 months ago.

  7. Just this morning I found a blood-bespeckled napkin in my purse with a phone number and the name "Peter" written on it in penmanship that is too poor to be my own.

    I have a small cut on my upper lip which explains the blood but I have no idea who Peter is.

  8. my purse is pretty packed full of smallish crap:

    wallet, small notepad, pen, nail file, burt's bees, excedrin migraine, gum, digital point and shoot, flip video camera, iphone, iphone charger, random sd memory card, sunglasses, and 2 hair clips. it's not a huge purse either. if i had a big bag, it would be even more full of junk!

  9. Everyone always cracks jokes at me saying i carry everything but the kitchen sink. My mom says i carry around a lugage bag! my purse has serious problems! I carry around two giant makeup bags which doesnt make sense because 1) i dont open it all day long unless my chapstick is in there and 2) i wear little to no makeup.
    * umbrella even when not raining
    *extra shoes i have to walk through mud to my school's building.
    *overflowing pencil box
    *2 binders stuffed like turkeys
    * calculator
    *digital camera
    *plastic utensils yes for my lunches
    *small bag containing fem. products
    and other things we all know i dont need plus keys mints gum you name it ... im carrying it. i like to think im well prepared for pretty much anything!

  10. because i have a child i have:
    -baby wipes
    -baby toy
    -graham crackers

    I also have scissors, a car charger for my cell phone, a water bottle, a (hidden) pocketknife, mini flashlight and a book on raising toddlers

  11. Your wallet is so full that it doesn't close?

    Lucky you!

    In my purse (a roomy Kate Spade tote I scored at the outlets):

    - wallet
    - Blackberry
    - keys with pink beaded pig keychain (for Year of the Boar)
    - "Reading Like a Writer" by Francine Prose
    - hot pink 2010 pocket journal from J.Crew
    - Moleskine writer's notebook
    - a pen from Gotham Writer's Workshop
    - Kiehl's #1 Lip Balm (can't live without it!)
    - Clinique pressed powder compact in Stay Neutral
    - Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey
    - Gucci sunglasses
    - digital camera
    - A $2 bill from my deceased grandmother that I alway carry for good luck.
    - some postage stamps