Sunday, December 14, 2008

Oral surgery recovery sux

I told y'all on Friday that I was getting ready to go in to have my wisdom teeth taken out. Prep for surgery sucked because I couldn't eat all morning at work, and as I found out when I arrived to the doctor's office Friday afternoon, I actually wasn't supposed to drink either. Not even water. They want your stomach totally empty in case the anesthesia makes you vom -- they don't want you choking on your own vom during surgery. Lovely, huh?

Well anyway once I got there, they took another X-ray of my mouth and the surgeon came in to tell me what was going to happen. I asked him his professional opinion on whether or not I needed to have all four of the teeth pulled, and he of course said yes, I should. He said if I left them in my mouth they would inevitably cause problems, so taking them out now was probably the safest bet.

I conceded. After he talked to me for a bit, he left the room and the nurse started giving me laughing gas, which is UHMAZING. After about two minutes you start to feel kind of giggly. It's amazing how good doctors and scientists are at naming stuff. You just start laughing for no reason. Then after about five minutes you start to feel heavy and tingly, and very chatty. Basically it's like being drunk, without the time or calories wasted imbibing. Awesome. They gave me laughing gas for about 15-20 minutes, which was pretty amazing in itself. During that time she also gave me an IV for the anesthesia. I barely felt it and I barely remember it now, so that was good. The nurse was really sweet and while I was gas-o we talked about why it's a bad idea for people to get married and have children too young. She waited until she was 30 t0 have her first kid. Clearly these are my feelings too, so I think we really bonded while I was in there.

Next thing I know I'm waking up from surgery. My mouth is stuffed with gauze and I'm pretty unconscious. The recovery part is the most disgusting. Even more disgusting than having to wear my pajamas to the surgery site, which we all know my feelings on. I got home and immediately took a Loritab and got in bed. From all the stories I had heard, you pretty much are supposed to pass out right after surgery and not wake up for several hours. This did not happen to me. I took a Loritab and fell asleep for maybe 45 minutes, then someone texted me and I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I ate some soup that night. I ended up not going to sleep until after 1 a.m. I was pretty distraught, because obviously I assumed there was something wrong if I couldn't sleep.

Anyway, next day I woke up around 9 a.m. to take my antibiotics (four a day for the next seven days, damnz), then fell back asleep. A called me around noon (yes, we're still together and talking pretty regularly again) and I had a short, incoherent convo with him then fell back asleep, waking up again around 2. I was much more swollen than I had been on Friday, and felt generally disgusting. I ate some soup. I managed to get in the shower last night. I ate some ice cream. Did I mention you can't brush your teeth for the first 24 hours after surgery? Because you can't. It's so gross.

Then around 9 p.m. I started to feel really miserable. My mouth was hurting, and it was also pretty much swollen shut. I officially hate Loritab because I think it makes me really emotional and crazy. So far I have cried at least three or four times since I started taking it. One time I knocked my iPhone off my nightstand and started crying. WTF? Thaaaat's not normal. The phone is fine.

So I just went to bed around 9:30 or so. I woke up feeling much better this morning. Minimal pain, and the swelling has gone down as well. I am actually trying to eat some oatmeal right now, somewhat successfully. I doused it in honey so it's quite delicious. I have much better range of up/down motion in my mouth today, so I might actually try to eat some solid food later. I'm still wearing the same PJ pants I wore to the surgery, and I still haven't brushed my teeth. I'm so gross right now.

Majorly yours.

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