The Unabridged Blackberries to Apples Bloglossary

I've been thinking a lot about life recently, and I realized today that it's been two years since Z and I started developing the language that we now regularly use to communicate. Naturally, because we all write best about what we know, said language has become a regular fixture on this very blog. But as more people who aren't my friends start to read it - which I hope they do - they might be confused at the prevalence of "words" that are, well, not actually words. Because I want to readily encourage new readers, I have decided to produce this: The Unabridged Blackberries to Apples Bloglossary. Below, find the meanings of many of the faux words that grace post after post of my somewhat "special" brainchild. Enjoy.





Bish
Function: noun
Etymology: Harlem high schoolers
Date: 2009
Definition: Bitch. Often followed by "plz."

BFF
Function: noun/adjective
Etymology: A 15-year-old girl on her cell phone
Date: 2007
Definition: Best friend forever.

Brillz
Function: adjective
Etymology: A group of self-satisfied 20something Manhattanites, AKA my friends
Date: 2009
Definition: Brilliant.

Chunk a deuce
Function: verb
Etymology: Most rap/hip-hop videos
Date: 1980s
Definition: To throw a sideways peace sign; to extricate oneself from the situation at hand. Recently discovered it can also mean this. Not the intended meaning.

Cray cray
Function: adjective/adverb/noun
Etymology: Derived from a rare moment of genius on the part of ex-boyfriend
Date: 2008
Definition: Crazy.

CTFD
Function: verb, transitive
Etymology: Senior year of college, working at the newspaper
Date: 2007
Definition: Calm the fuck down.

CTFO
Function: verb, transitive
Etymology: Spin-off of CTFD
Date: 2007
Definition: Chill the fuck out.

Def
Function: affirmation
Etymology: Hautey Toddy-based abbrevs
Date: 2007
Definition: Definitely.

Eff
Function: verb/adjective/adverb
Etymology: Recently developed out of aversion to pronouncing an entire word, ugh
Date: 2009
Definition: Fuck.

FBPP
Function: noun
Etymology: Senior year of college, when Facebook was like the shit
Date: 2007
Definition: Facebook profile pic.

Fo re re
Function: ?????
Etymology: Senior year of college, expressed in a moment of exasperation/genius
Date: 2007
Definition: For real.

FTW
Function: verb(ish)
Etymology: Derived from tatted up ex-boyfriend expressing aggro tendencies/penchant for dark-sided hipsterisms
Date: 2009
Definition: Fuck the world.

Fugly
Function: adjective
Etymology: Unknown, but possibly the original contraction that started them all
Date: A moment of true brilliance
Definition: Pretty much self-explanatory, but: fucking ugly.

GTFOI
Function: verb, transitive
Etymology: Spawn of CTFD and STFU
Date: 2007
Definition: Get the fuck over it.

Hates it
Function: complete sentence
Etymology: The gays
Date: 2000s
Definition: I hate that.

HLLWN08
Function: noun
Etymology: Originated in a Facebook album dedicated to Halloween 2008
Date: October 2008
Definition: Beyoncé.

HLLWN09
Function: noun
Etymology: See above. Variation on a theme.
Date: TBD
Definition: Lady GaGa.

LBO
Function: verb(ish)
Etymology: Derived during a car ride to Jackson, Mississippi that preceded a weekend of epic dancing in skanky gay clubs
Date: September 2007
Definition: "Let's be honest." The most infamous of abbrevs.

LDR
Function: noun
Etymology: The story of my life
Date: 2008
Definition: Long distance relationship.

Lolz
Function: verb/adjective/adverb/noun
Etymology: May the lolz be with you (and also with you)
Date: The beginning of the universe
Definition: Lolz.

Lolx
Function: verb/adjective/adverb/noun
Etymology: Can I get some lolx cream cheese on my bagel?
Date: October 2008
Definition: Lolz to the max.

Loves it
Function: complete sentence
Etymology: The gays
Date: 2000s
Definition: I love that.

Mayhaps
Function: shrug
Etymology: Derived from "maybe" and "perhaps"
Date: 2008
Definition: Maybe, perhaps; expresses a genuine commitment to being noncommittal.

Natch
Function: adverb, ish
Etymology: Laziness
Date: 2009
Definition: Naturally.

Nom
Function: verb, adjective, nom
Etymology: LOLcats?
Date: 2008
Definition: Mmmmmmdeliciousfood.

Obvs
Function: adverb?
Etymology: Hautey Toddy abbrevs
Date: 2007
Definition: Obviously.

OOC
Function: adjective/adverb
Etymology: One of a long string of abbrevs developed via the creation of Hautey Toddy
Date: 2007
Definition: Out of control. Also, see this.

OMFG
Function: exclamation???
Etymology: Some other 15-year-old girl on her cell phone
Date: 2007
Definition: Oh my fucking god.

O rly
Function: complete sentence
Etymology: LOL cats
Date: 2007
Definition: Oh, really?

Probs
Function: complete sentence
Etymology: Yet another teenage girl, this time on IM
Date: 2007
Definition: Probably.

Ridonk
Function: adjective
Etymology: Senior year of college, describing pretty much everyone in the Grove on game day
Date: 2007
Definition: Über ridiculous.

SATC
Function: noun
Etymology: Internet message boards' inherent laziness
Date: 2000s
Definition: Sex and the City.

Shitiot
Function: noun
Etymology: A moment of divine inspiration/frustration
Date: 2009
Definition: A fucktard idiot.

Sitch
Function: noun
Etymology: Favorite abbrev of college roomie/BFF
Date: 2007
Definition: Situation.

Sombish
Function: noun, indefinite
Etymology: Gchat, as per yooj
Date: 2009
Definition: Some bitch.

Srsly
Function: complete sentence
Etymology: LOL cats, again
Date: 2007
Definition: Seriously. Often followed by a ???

STFU
Function: verb, transitive
Etymology: Senior year of college, working at the newspaper
Date: 2007
Definition: Shut the fuck up.

TWSS
Function: full sentence
Etymology: The Office
Date: 2005
Definition: That's what she said.

Vom
Function: verb
Etymology: Hautey Toddy
Date: 2007
Definition: Vomit.

WTF
Function: complete sentence
Etymology: The word of god
Date: 0
Definition: What the fuck?

Yooj
Function: noun
Etymology: Quirky abbrev developed by college roomie/BFF
Date: 2007
Definition: Usual.