Wednesday, February 10, 2010

In which I brainstorm better puns involving the word snow

As I'm sure we allllllllll know by now, in the past week or so there's been a string of bad snowstorms pounding the Mid-Atlantic/Northeast region. DC got hit hard last week, and now the snow has made its way to NYC. I get that people are all like, "OMG WTF IT'S SO MUCH SNOW WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOOOO!" But that's no* excuse for another phenomenon this ridiculous amount of snow has caused: a group of terrible, half-assed, (s)no(w)-good, horrible snow puns.

Not only is this sort of a popular Internet meme amongst not-so-clever-yet-think-they're-so-fucking-clever 20somethings, but even official news sources (ahem, Washington Post) are also using these puns in their headlines and even polling people to find out what the storm should be called. Unfortunately, their options really blow - nay, they gust - and I'm here to amend that.

Here is my bad list of the terrible puns I've seen, just in the past couple weeks, to describe what is happening with the weather in America.

"Snomgasm" (This. is. the. worst. It sounds like a sneeze.)
"Snowzilla" (Hey y'all: "snow" and "god" don't remotely resemble one another. They don't rhyme. They don't even have the same vowel sound. Badzilla.)
"Snowfecta" (Again: "Tri" vs. "snow." Let's sound them out together. Goooooood. You see where I'm coming from, yes?)
"S'now joke"

And here is my brainstormy list of snow puns. Prepare to die, Wash Po.

Snowcaine hangover (or "hangsnowver," but that feels a bit forced, no?)
Apocalypse Snow (sorta like the one from the bad list above, but more well thought-out, yes?)
Snowmygod (c/o Jenny Anina)
SNOWMG (Abbrev of Snowmygod, obvs)
You're a blizzard, Flurry
We're off to see the blizzard (the punderful blizzard of blahs)
Firn Gully: The Last Rainsnowrest (Look it up, bitches)
Graupeling with the snowtion
All flurried up with snowhere to go
Snowmena vs. phesnowmena (holler, Kant)
WWSD? (What would Snowbama do?)
Brrrrzie Snowre (What would Snookie do?)

OK, I'm spent. Brain done. Snow more puns. Leave your suggestions in the comments.

*That snow


  1. Hey, I like Snowzilla, despite it not being a pun. And apparently, snowfficially, the December snowstorm (that I missed, yay) was Snowpocalypse. The one last week was Snowmageddeon. And this is snowverkill? It might snow again in DC on Monday. Snowmg.

  2. Snowdown 2010. "Snowdown at the ..." would be better but I can't be bothered to think of a "..."

    Snow Country for Cold Men. Ooh, ouch, bad.

    I tried.

  3. Yesssssssssssssss "Snow Country For Cold Men."


  4. Hmm, snow puns? I'll have to put some thawed into it.


    I've heard Snowtrocity before, but I think I'm too exhausted to fire up the ol' pun abilities at the moment. But I like your blog even more after this post lol

  5. M, I like Snowpocalypse mainly because it fits in with MY theme! I swear I came up with that name before I ever heard it on TV and just minutes before it was used on the Today show. I will be posting about it later here:

    You may cauterize my punny site name if you like! If you need a laugh, drop by...

  6. Yesss! Blizzkrieg!

    My readers are impressing me right now.


    Just came across this - semi-related and cute enough to share

  8. HAHA! I wish I was creative enough to come up with one.
    I especially like this one: Firn Gully: The Last Rainsnowrest
    It makes no sense! I love it!

  9. Around here we just we just call it the white death. "the white death is upon us, I have no regrets."

  10. Yesss, Lauren! Someone got the hyperbole.

  11. Very creative. I was inspired by the snow to write a song to the tune of "Showdown" by Black Eyed Peas. Check it out:

  12. this isn't even the worst it's been!!

  13. All of them are bad, lol. Just say snow. Or blizzard.

  14. hey meghan..... you really turn me on, want to give me a snow job?

    yuk yuk yuk
    your pal teeny

  15. Blizzaster or Snow Job

  16. Blizzaster or Snow Job is the way to go

  17. Your puns suck. Don't quit your day job.