Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Today in (very) badvertising

I saw this ad in the subway before I left the city for the holidays.

OK. I get that a lot of advertising is sex-based, because (as we all have been conditioned to know since we were little bitty babies) sex sells - but at least sometimes the selling of the sex is a little bit creative. Sometimes copywriters include semi-nude ladies and puns, or semi-nude ladies and excellently worded jokes, or semi-nude ladies and funny songs. You know, at least something to accompany the semi-nude ladies - or, in this case, semi-disembodied ladies.

So, just to recap, in this ad, we have the following.
1. A girl in bra/shorts straddling a large football that is mildly phallic in nature
2. A sign behind her head that reads "It's all about the scoring"*
3. A pair of legs emerging from a football helmet that is way too small to actually contain the rest of her body (because who needs a brain, heart or torso when you've got gorgeous stems?)
4. A sign behind said legs that reads "College football's never been dirtier"

I didn't realize until a quick Google search that this is actually an ad for a fictionalized TV "comedy" show**. I thought it was an ad for college football re-runs on Spike, or something. Way to go, writers, if you can even call yourselves that; I get that Spike is a TV network for men, or whatever it's marketed as now, but you might try using your brains to come up with something even remotely clever. Need some help? No problem. I'm no Don Draper, but I'll give it a shot. Here are my ideas.

1. On photo one: Laces in (and out and in and out); On photo two: Football's never been dumber or more anaerobic
2. On photo one: A face mask penalty isn't necessarily a bad thing; On photo two: Football's never been more half-assed
4. Across both photos: At BMS, the girls handle the balls
5. Scrawling across both photos: SEX SEX SEX > FOOTBALL > BAD TV SHOWS > EVERYTHING ON SPIKE 

*This is, technically, a play on words, but it sucks.
**Upon visiting the web site for the show, it becomes quickly apparent that this is a show for horny guys who enjoy sexualized sporting activities. I will never understand why TV companies spend loads of money to produce and advertise shows like this, when the Internet is filled with free porn.


  1. You are definitely right...guess this can be applied to beer commercials as well? My husband had a Corona poster of a sexy girl siding up to a bottle. Or the Captain Morgan one... yep sex sells....and the men who see it probably have not a clue.....btw wth does a girl stradding a football have to do w/the game? NADA...unless its trying to imply that the girl will be straddling some guy's balls? hah!. dream on loser guys.. lol

  2. Tsk tsk. Lot's of anger in this post, while your last one before this was good. I don't watch Spike that much, but I can see why they did it. I saw the previews and decided I didn't want to watch it, so they're making basically a last ditch move (already) to get viewers before they cancel it.

    I know, you think it degrades women, but the last I checked, what one woman does doesn't mean that all women do it. Just like one guy hitting women doesn't mean that I do it.

  3. I love to think of what this would be like the other way around: "Sex: It has never been football-ier" Or "Sex: It's all about the touchdowns."

    I don't think it would work quite as well.

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  5. Sometimes I want to comment, but my thoughts are "nom nom nom nom" 90% of the time so I feel lame.

    Christmas: nom nom nom nom
    Sex in advertising: non nom nom nom

    : )